"Up In The Doom Room"

So here they were, all together in one place. Discouraged, defeated, rejected and hated. Tremendous fear about tomorrow, questions about today, and doubt about what they've been believing, and who they had been following, opressed them heavily like a dark cloud of despair. A cloud ready to burst open, emptying its contents of proof, that what they feared most, had truly come upon them. Those disciples gathered together, after Jesus' crucifixion, pressed into one small room. Did the air of depression threaten to choke them to death like automobile exhust fumes in a closed garage? Did they cry? Or were they so overcome with their reality that they were numb? Were they feeling embarrassed and foolish about having swallowed the teachings of Jesus, "hook, line and sinker?" Those words of "Pick up your cross and follow me." (Mark 8:34) Or, "greater things shall you do, because I go to the father?" (John 14:12) Or, "I am the way, the truth and the life." (John 14:6)

Was their reality, at that moment of being huddled together in their secret "doom room," any differnt than the reality we so often find ourselves? A reality brought about by our life in this oppressive world. A world where we desire with all that is in us, to follow Christ with the impecability that ushers in the assurance of hearing one day, "Well done, though good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21) So often. . . more often than we would care to admit, we find ourselves in this kind of despair. We question why we try so hard to serve so faithfully, only to realize our dreams "never" come true . . . at least that is the truth the enemy, our adversary sells us "hook, line and sinker!" In those moments of saddness and depression when we could say to ourselves "why so downcast O my soul?" (Psm. 43:5) do we feel like we almost have our hand on reaching something good, only to find it slip away from us . . . never quite getting a hold on it. It's like God is playing some kind of mean trick on us. Now, isn't that exactly the feeling satan wants us to believe? That God would tease and taunt us with some kind of promise of hope, that is more mirage, than the real deal.

But, the book of Acts, chapter 2 teaches clearly that when those downcast disciples were "all together in one place" no doubt praying, it was a moment that ushered in the very real presence of the Holy Ghost, shaking them out of their words of doubt and fear. It caused them to talk differently! It caused them to look differently! Not only could others merely look at them and see that God was present with them, but their words, their testimony was God filled! Their very articulation and message was different. Changed in a split second from words of doubt to words of faith. It changed their reality from death to life . . . but so much more! It changed the world.

When we come to the end of ourselves long enough to be truly sick to death of our current reality, whatever that may be . . . then, we find ourselves in the perfect place for a miracle! We find ourselves truly calling out to the only one who cares for us like non other. And, the only one who can speak life into death. God loves us beyond what we can even think or imagine and He desires to give His children good gifts.

So, Father in Heaven, I pray right now that you fill my house, ME, with the sound of a violent rushing wind from Heaven. The kind of wind that transforms my testimony; changes the way I look, and pierces my heart into repentance. A turn around from despair, doubt and hopelessness to courage, boldness and faithfullness! Amen!!