Last night, I had such an experience. After crying on and off for several hours, feeling very alone . . . very "cast off" from God . . . I went to bed. I tossed and turned for 45 minutes and then got back up. I went straight to my office, grabbed a bible and found myself in Revelation, of all places! I love the book of Revelation. It isn't a story of doom and gloom. It's a story of salvation and the strong, powerful arm of God. It's a story of a redeemer who is about to set things straight and fulfill prophetic Word and promises of God. To say nothing of being the only book that comes with a blessing, just for reading it! Anyway, right there in chapter one came the breeze - that began blowing away the shadow that had been blinding me for some months. Read for yourself:
"John, to the seven churches that are in Asia: Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne, and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To him who loves us and freed us from our sins by his blood, and who made us to be a kingdom, priests serving his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever, Amen. Look! He is coming with the clouds; every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and on his account all the tribes of the earth will wail. So it is to be. Amen. I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty."
Wow! What jumped off the page to me was this. Here is a word from Jesus Christ, "the faithful witness" to me . . . I represent one of the 7 churches (seven, being a number of completeness, including the complete church . . . of which, I am one). In Jesus' faithfulness, He speaks to ME. What He has to say was a reminder. He set me free from my sins by His blood. OK, yes . . . but this is the juicy part . . . He set me free in order that I might be something -- do something . . . what you ask? To be a kingdom and a priest! That got me to thinking. What is it, to be a kingdom? As I reflected, I was very impressed that a kingdom simply is a dwelling place of the King, where all his royal subjects worship the Majesty. I am yesterdays "holy habitation" of the Lord. I am NOT cast off! God is not far away . . . in fact, God is dwelling in the land of my heart, my soul, my spirit and I am His priest. Being a priest requires that I be "set apart" that there is something different about me than the rest of the world. That I enter into holy places, on behalf of others and myself. But, that I do so "prepared" to be in that holy place. Sweeping away - all that might separate me from His Royal Majesty; washing away any attitude, any thoughts, any self-delusions and any work of the enemy that might "shadow" His glory, in me!
Dwelling in this awareness brought me to new tears. Tears of refreshment as I realigned my priorities, tears of washing that remove both the speck and the log in my own eye; and tears of renewal as I remembered that I am His princess in the land, not a slum-lord, not a peasant, not a tenant . . . but a princess with an inheritance, a dowry, and a promise! The Alpha and Omega, the Almighty has NOT completed what He began in me. So, I dwell in this space on earth, in the tension between the "here and now" and the "there and then" of time. Until I get there, then . . . I have a job to do. My position as princess of the land, isn't to lay around in self-pity, whining about what I don't have . . . it is to stand strong, and fight the enemies that are crouching at the door and possess the land. Possession always requires a fight!
So, last night I began again the fight that is never over in this life for the territory of my spiritual life; since the adversary is always seeking a crack to squeeze into in order to regain ground. I went back to bed and fell asleep praying in the spirit, both in consciousness and unconsciousness . . . and I awoke seeing beyond the "shadow of death," and into the presence of God!
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