I don't know about you but there is NOTHING harder or more exasperating than to be put on "perma-hold" with customer service. Service being the operating word here. I want service, but instead, I'm on hold and they are, I don't know, taking a lunch break! Along the same vein, standing in one of the only open check out lines at the big blue box-store waiting, waiting and waiting. Generally I start looking around to see why the other three employees standing talking at the Customer Service area can't, jump on register without being told, is beyond me, because I want SERVICE! Why have 43 check out lanes and only have three open, I don't know. To say nothing of the doctor's office who has you wait 4o minutes in the waiting room for an appointment made months ago and then want to send a bill if I they are 10 minutes late! What???
Let's face it friends, waiting is not easy. We've grown accustomed to our microwave world and we want fast food, fast gas, fast service, and fast answers! In this time of doctors, hospitals and tests with Wes, I'm learning the art of "waiting." Oh, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean by any means that I am waiting patiently. Uh, nope, not at all. In fact, yesterday was just such a day. "We will call you tomorrow" does NOT actually mean they will call tomorrow, so we wait. It's what I do in the waiting that really tells the tale, doesn't it. Am I employing the fruit-of-the-Spirit patience, or am I allowing my anxiety to build? Am I trusting in the Lord, or is my flesh nature in control? I learned a long time ago that if I want to measure my growth in the Lord, I should measure my reactions not my actions. Let me explain.
It's one thing to say, "Well, I am faithful to church attendance and my church responsibilities, I go on mission trips and welcome the stranger." And, it's another thing all together to check my reactions; how I treat others when I'm impatient, uptight or ticked off! If I'm still able to manage myself and my reactions to the negative stimuli around me, then I can really see how much I've grown. Or if I give myself permission to speak ugly to the lady who, in my opinion, could move faster, shows how immature I still am. Okay, so now for true confession. Yesterday after waiting all day and still not hearing anything I went upstairs to my office, mad! I stewed in it for some time. But finally, I came to the place where I began to hear the Lord speak to my heart, "Settle down and wait patiently, it's all in My hands and My timing." I was reminded of His Word from Isaiah 40:31 that says:
"But those who wait for the Lord -- who expect, look for and hope in Him -- shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint or become tired." (The Amplified Bible Version)
I spent more wasted time waiting for, expecting and hoping in, a call from John's Hopkins, than I did in expecting, waiting for, and hoping in, what God was doing. And because of that, I felt more and more drained as the day wore on. And yet, this passage of Scripture teaches that if I want to be lifted above my circumstances, I need to learn to wait in the Lord. I need to put my trust, and hope in what God is up to instead of the report of the doctor. NO THIS IS NOT EASY TO DO, but that doesn't mean it isn't doable. When I do that, then I am energized for the journey.
Friends, those of you who are on this journey with me, let me say this. Insight isn't learning! It only becomes learning when we put into practice (whether we succeed at it or not) those things God is giving us insight into. The more we practice the insight, the more we grow from the learning.
Precious Almighty God, may it be that I learn from the insights You gave me about waiting. May I put into practice those things You want me to learn. Right now, You want me to learn how to wait on YOU. When I do, I'll find I'm less and less weary and more and more filled with what I need to get through the journey. Amen!
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